The Invisible Ladder

"I knew as a child that no one knew me..." - Li-Young Lee

Another night in the Ruins(home). Sitting here typing, typing, typing away. It's 12:30 am and I'm eating frozen pineapples and outside if seems as if the wind has all the answers that I'm looking for. Stress, Stress, Stress go away. This change, this return home is not so easy an adjustment as I thought it would be. I waste the daylight hours away in the gym constantly tweaking my image that to me is not yet perfect, but at night I haunt the bars looking for some type of solace. From The Speakeasy, to the Upsidedown Plaza, and over to the Courtyard drinking the night away as if tomorrow something different will come. Different. Different! Different? Right now great poets are swimming though my mind, Langston Hughes, Nikki Giovanni, Rita Dove..my favorites. They tell me to write. Write? Write! In my head I think of "The Eavesdropper(Jane Wayne)" from last night. "The small girl crouched on the top steps to listen is still waiting to hear her name on their lips, to come alive like a deck of card shuffled in their downstairs hands. She's still motionless outside the living room, staining to catch some hint than no one drops, still in that hallway dwelling on their talk as a thumb does a rough fingernail." She caught my eyes because she looked like she has a lot to talk about yet nobody was listening to her.

Last night a thousand senses caressed my spirit. What was supposed to be a house warming party turned into a searching out souls and auras. It's funny how what might seemed insignificant to some at the party actually was what everyone at the party was searching for. Another soul to connect with another soul. One person spoke of raking auras and the minute mine was raked I felt all the love that person truly had to offer to someone. My soul is sensitive to touch. I've always known that I have a very sensitive soul, it feels love more affectionately, and feels hurt more intensely, but yet I love these to extremes. I've come to find a middle ground with my soul and my spirit. I've continued to give love, even after it's hurt me. I've hurt some that haven't hurt me. I feel that my soul on the middle of an Invisible Ladder that hovers between love and hate....it's weird that I've come to this balance in my life.

I want my soul to be raked fiercely, intensely, passionately, and peacefully.

"All Dogs go To Heaven" is not based on fact.

I can't sleep...plus I haven't written on here for awhile. Starting this week I'm going to make an effort to keep it up.

Well let me fill you in on what I've been doing. I'm back in B'ham, Alabama and plotting my next move. I'm staying with my parents for a few days and then I'm heading back to Motown to live for the summer. I love my parents dearly but I don't want to be here for long periods of time because I just sit around ALL day and I like to be up and about.

My time at New Stage was great, overall it was such a great learning experience. When my contract ended in early May I knew it was time for me to go. You know how you get the feeling that something bigger and better is waiting for you...that's how I felt toward the internship. I was going to stay and work summer camp..but my gut told me to go and plus I accepted two show here in B'ham. I needed to go. I've been in Atlanta and I really, really, dig the vibe of that city, especially "Little Five Points."

I have so many paths I could choose right now..and it's awesome, but drawing my focus to one is a challenge. I'm going to be meeting with a New York production company that's trying to start a branch down here in Alabama...THANKS to MOM and her connections...she was the one that referred me to them. HEEEEYYY Deborah got friends in HIGH places.

Well g2g PEACE

My Own Little Corner, In My Own Little Chair

The time is drawing to close for here in Mississippi and I'm looking forward to a much needed break. I really need to do some regrouping for myself.

Today I was may fully aware of my insecurities and it was needed, and today it really made me think about why I am so insecure. I think that due to a lack of self-confidence in myself I have built up this huge wall of insecurities. It's like I don't trust the possibility of someone retaining love for long periods of time. When I think about it that way...I don't think I've honestly known or felt love before this. I sometimes feel inferior to other people and it's happened in the past and I'm not talking about relationships either, I've been made to feel inferior in other situations as well.

I think what I need back the most is my self-confidence...but how do I get back? I just need to get over the judgment of others and be okay.

I'm overwhelmed, over worked, and I need a vacation. Usually I like to drop wisdom here, but I'm not feeling it anymore.

Well g2g PEACE

I Was Born This Way!

Today has been a very long day. We had three shows today of "Sword In The Stone" and I'm just happy to have made it through those three shows. Wearing the costume for Merlin is no easy task, and neither is wearing the wig/beard. I'll be so happy when we get pass these two weeks because touring these shows can become an emotional drain and I can tell that it takes a drain on the rest of the group as well. I think touring so much can sometimes make individuals be on edge as far a emotions go. It's really stressful, and the last thing you want it someone to get upset over something of no importance and then you have to deal with it on car rides.
When not touring everything is okie dokie.

The shows today ran smoothly. It was a bit shaky at at first because we didn't do the line through last week like it was planned on our schedules, but the last to runs were very good. I loved the 2nd run better. I'm glad that this is and was the only 3 show day that we had.

So I'm going to owe the government some money because my last job didn't take taxes out of our checks....bummer :(, but hopefully it will work itself out, and it won't be that bad. crossing my fingers.

Tonight's rehearsal of "A Soldier's Play" was really good. We did a run through of Act 1 doe the Tech crew so they could see what's going on. After-wards we polished all the scenes. Today I realized how sharp of a soldier I have to be, and how "Happy" I have to be...it's actually hard to play "Happy", but I did it and hopefully it will come full circle for me this week.

Well I gotta get some rest because tomorrow is another LONG day and I've gotta keep a smile on my face.

Well g2g PEACE

P.S.

Spring Cleaning 2011....I hate Pollen

You know it's really okay to let folks go, whether it's a boyfriend/ girlfriend or people you thought were really good friends. It's it TOTALLY okay to say "I'm letting all the Drama go." It's okay to say "I don't want anymore drama." If you have friends in your life who are totally negative or represent a place in your life where you are no longer at...it's okay to say "I Gotta Go." I have recently come across some friends where I have looked at them and said, "Wow, wtf do we have in common now?" It's true I've changed. I'm a new person, I'm finally happy, and I've been searching for happiness for so long. I've become so secure with who I am. I'm so happy with my life. I'm happy with my career, where it's going, and what it's doing for me, that I no longer want to be associated with a certain type of person, that always wants to break me down, or makes me doubt. The same goes for relationships too.

There is SO MUCH going on in this world that I don't need to have people in my inner circle, that are telling me what I should do with my life. I'm focusing on the positive and releasing the negative. I'm finally at a good place in my life, my spirit is happy, my whole body is happy. As B. Scott would say "Let the Dirt Dobbers play in the mud by themselves!"

I realize that as I continue to "upgrade" myself that there are going to be people who try to pull me back down. I'm surrounding myself with people who are nurturing, and building me up. The people you surround yourself with says a lot about who you are...is so true. I make no apologies for being who I am, or the people I pick and choose to hang with.

Today has been a really good day!!! I slept until 12pm and than I worked my ass off at the gym and did my video blog, which you can check out on Youtube :) and then I went and walked/ran around the neighborhood. Today was such a beautiful day that I had to be outdoors. I was glad to get the chance too.

This week is going to be hell as far as touring and rehearsing at night, but I'm prepared and as long as I have my late night gym time I will be alight. I'm going hard in the gym these next 7 weeks until I leave for home. I didn't have any rehearsals tonight so I'm going to bed :)

Well g2g PEACE

The Dim Dinner

Today was so beautiful and where did I spend it....in the theatre. I've been dying to go to the park and just layout and play Frisbee with a couple of friends, but I don't have time for it. I went to the gym today and was got a nice little surprise. I lost weight and I was so glad that I ran for a full hour and lifted weight for another 45 minutes.

After the workout I came back and started Ep. 1 of "Being Me, JustTyree" on YouTube, which you should check out!!! It's just me..being me. It was short, quick and fun, and I'm going to do them as often as possible. After-wards I showered and washed my damn hair. It's so red y'all...but I'm cutting it this week for "A Soldier's Play." Speaking of the play, I can't tell you how excited I am about this cast and production in general. We did a run through of the show today and it's going to be really good. We just finished our first week of rehearsal and we did a run through with half of the cast OFF BOOK...IT'S ONLY THE FIRST WEEK !!!! So crazy, right? As actors we are all so uniquely different and watching everyone is so awesome. I'm covering all the roles, except the three white soldier's and it's a DAUNTING task...I have to learn everybody's lines and blocking and be ready to go on at a minutes notice. I asked our Director today what happens when I go on for somebody, what happens to my character Ellis and she said they would have to hire somebody.

Today I had to audition for "Joseph...., which I really have no intentions of being in and right now my voice is just now coming back from being horse and...y'all I bombed it, but I took that as a sign from God because he knew that deep down I had no real passion to be in that show. LOL ;)

Well Monday "officially" begins my countdown to leaving Jackson, MS. for awhile. I better make the most of it.

My tummy is hurting from eating Mexican tonight....Dim Dinner, for sure. :)

Time Is Flying By

Wow, it's been a month since I've really posted anything...sorry :)

New Stage is really keeping me busy at the moment. We closed "Miss Nelson is Missing the Musical" last Sunday and this past week I went straight into rehearsals for "A Soldier's Play" and "Five Women Wearing The Same Dress" I'm playing Ellis/Understudy in "A Soldier's Play" and I'm playing Tripp Davenport in the latter. This week I've got to gear myself up for what I would like to call 2 weeks of Hell...we are going to be touring everyday for two weeks straight right before we open the other two shows, which means I have to be back at night for late night rehear, sals for both...pray for me folks. I only have 7 weeks left here on my contract and I'm ready for a little break and I'm really excited about David and Katy's wedding. As time comes to a closes here on Jackson I'm plotting my next move...I'm looking at the ATL and NYC, which one?

I'm starting to tone back down again and I like what's happening. My body likes being "Buff" so I'm just going to keep it that way. I took a week off from working out...."Spring Break", I'm scared of what they scale might say tomorrow, but I'll deal with it. I haven't been eating crazy anyway.

Well g2g PEACE

Valentine's Day it's time for you to end!

Well today wasn't such a lonely day after all. After I was maybe a Scrooge about today because near the person that I love so much, but it actually just felt like a regular day.

Today I performance of Twelfth Night was probably the worst experience I've had with an audience. Not only was the group late to the show, but they talked and made comments throughout the entire production. It was the rudest experience I'd ever seen. Half of the cast just drove through the scenes because the kids weren't even paying attention. As an actor I felt disrespected. This was my Off Day where I had made plans and we do the show for the group, but with no lack of respect from the audience. Our "Olivia" literally sped through her lines onstage because they weren't even listening. After the show one school stayed for the talk-back and they thanked us and they knew how rude the other school had been.

After that fiasco I came back to my housing and did some laundry, cleaned up the place, and went to the gym. I was feeling a bit lonely today! Elise rescued me from my boredom and we went to see Gnomeo and Juliet and it was a funny little movie. I enjoyed my outing a lot. I thank her for that. I'm going to try and get back in the habit of keeping my space clean ;) It makes me feel better, and I only get messy when my life is hectic. This week alone is going to be crazy and long...but I'm just going to breath and go with the flow.



Well g2g PEACE

Hour Before Valentine's Day.

So it's an hour before Valentine's day and this year I'll be spending it alone. It kinda sucks, but the person that I love isn't near me this year. So how will I spend this V-day? Who knows!!!

The weekend performances of Twelfth Night were actually fun. Last nights performance felt like my strongest performance for this show thus far. I decided to take matters into my own hands and guide the character's tone of voice the way I actually speak and it felt SOOO much better. Getting direction from two different people wasn't helping me at all, and before I went onstage last night I said "Fuck it! I'm going to do what feel natural and what my impulses want to do!" Last night everything just clicked and following my gut instinct was what I needed to do all a long. Some of the cast members were like "That was a completely different take, and every word that came out of your mouth really meant something" Rob "Yo ass was in the moment FOR REAL last night!"
Today's show was even better. The first scene with Sebastian and I felt SOOO much better and I through out both directing notes.

I guess what I miss about performing in school is how the directors at UM would drill you and how they collaborated with you on things. As of recent I feel like it's all about getting a show up, making sure set, costumes and everything else is in place so they can have the show up in time and get butts in the seats. I'm worried about the state of regional theatres as a whole. Specifically this place. Deep down I have the burning desire to be the Artistic Theatre of a regional theatre someday. I have great ideas for New Stage but I don't think anyone really take me seriously because I've low..very LOW on the totem pole around here. I also get the notion that some people think I'm the "dumb" one out the interns...and I'm really beginning to feel insulted by that. I'm not dumb..but yeah, I ask questions when I don't understand something, yeah I say stupid things sometimes,but that JUST me.
If they actually sat down and had a legit conversation with me I think people would realize I'm sooooo much more than what they think and they have someone whose willing to do sooooo much more and CAN do so much more if asked or just given the chance.

I'm now in rehearsal for Miss Nelson is Missing the Musical...it's cute, but I'd like to do a musical with more substance, but...small steps! I know I'm still paying my dues and this is a whole different ball game.

My time is running out in Jackson and once it's done...who knows!!! I'm already planning my travels this summer and looking forward to this break before I make this biggest move next year. NYC or L.A. we will see :)



Well g2g PEACE

P.S. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO YOU ;)

Amaretto Sour Please?

So this week has been a TRUE test of my wills. I'm going through a lot of personal things right now in my life and I'm trying so very hard to not let them crumble around me. Sometime I wish everything in my life would really just fall into the right place, where I want too, and when I want it too. I don't talk about it a lot, but life for me hasn't always been a crystal stair. I've had to really work hard to get the place where I'm at now in my life. I just wish that sometime for the battle to stop so that I can be victorious and triumph over it all.

We opened up Twelfth Night tonight for a public performance and tonight was a VERY small crowd of 68 or more people. We are now in a very nice theatre and yet our audience tonight was very small. That really worries me on a business side of things, but I'm hoping tomorrows crowd will pick up. As far as the performance went I felt okay with what I did, but I don't think it was truly my best. Ever since Bob left I feel like something is still missing and I can't quite put my finger on it.

Today we had to tour "The Sword in The Stone" and that was actually fun and it was needed. Rehearsal for "Miss Nelson is Missing" is always a nice treat and playing a child is not easy...go figure :)

My mind has begun the countdown on leaving this place. I only have two months left here and I'm pondering on what I've learned from the Internship so far. I really feel like I'm giving all I can, even when I don't feel like it, but to be honest I sometimes feel like it's not worth it and I don't want to feel that way at all. Staying strong and positive is what's keeping me going, that and the gym. Can I just say that I love the gym crew that I workout with? We are all from completely different jobs, and places and yet we all click and push each other through our workouts. I love those guys, and lady :)

My Mom has decided to come to Jackson for a "quick" visit and I can't wait. You know how you feel when you think you're going to have a break down and you just really need support to get through some stuff right now, man it's been much needed. It really has been difficult being away from home, and it really is such weird, wonderful, and scary feeling all rolled up into one. I was thinking about my Big Cuz Patrick the other day and how we use to go to Huddle House late at night around this time and just talk and how he is so full of knowledge and how he kept it real...I miss that stuff.

I'm going to stop here because...i need too.

Well g2g PEACE

It's February What?

So it's been awhile since I've posted anything. I've decided not to post every single day unless something exciting happens because my blogs were becoming the same. Yeah..I noticed. Anyway it's February..WHAT? Time really is flying by. Today THE 39 STEPS closed and tomorrow we open TWELFTH NIGHT at JA Performing Arts Center and I go into rehearsal for MISS NELSON IS MISSING THE MUSICAL tomorrow night. It really is happening all so fast..but I prefer to happen this way.

Right now I'm busy making plans for after December. I've got SETC coming up, but to be honest I'm not really looking for much from there. I want to go back home for a minute and save up and REALLY start auditioning in bigger theatre markets. I'm MOST DEFINITELY going to keep auditioning for shows around town, it's just I need to get my finances right so I can prepare to make a big move somewhere. I've been having VIVID dreams about NYC, but every time I think about it I get really nervous, but my heart says otherwise...who knows? I know I need to go home for a second and regroup.

The internship so far is going okay...I didn't expect a HUGE change after December from some of us and a lot of things have been happening, but it's really insignificant. I'm just worrying about the work I do at New Stage Theatre and putting forward the best of my abilities to make sure that they know that I'm dedicated to my craft.

I'm very close to having the play I've been working on completed and I feel like after that's done I can breath a heavy sigh of relief.

Along with changing my physique for 2011 I'm changing my attitude and I'm tweeting positive stuff. Not only does it help me, but maybe I'm also helping someone else too. I'm staying away from the negative.

So I got a hold of Amos Lee and Adele's new albums and I love both of them so much.







Well g2g PEACE

Ease On Down The Road

I'm back from a very eventful weekend. I need to have a very active weekend because this week is going to be the from hell and I'm going to be crawling and graveling for this coming up weekend.

Where shall I start...I only worked out on Saturday and took a break on Sunday and after the hangover I had, my day of rest was much needed.

Saturday was our last rehearsal with Bob and it was great!!! It was pretty bummed that he was leaving even though I didn't show it. He reminded me a lot of Dr. C which was so crazy. His mannerisms and speech were very similar to Dr. C's. Anyway we took another approach to our rehearsal process on Saturday. During every scene we worked on we had a "Feeder" that was beside us feeding us our lines. A Feeder is basically another actor or actress not a scene with you who follows you where ever you go onstage and they feed you your lines while you work on the physical aspects of your character. I LOVED this approach to rehearsal. It makes you learn the line a whole lot fast, while working on the physical aspects of your character.

After rehearsal I had planned to kick up my heels and lay in bed the rest of the night, but my Roomie had other plans. A couple of his friends came over and we had a few drinks. Now, before you say "Tyree, you aren't supposed to be drinking!" let me just say that it was just a "taste " of what's going to happen this weekend. I didn't get carried away or anything like that. Afterward we headed to Bottom's Up the other Gay club here in Jackson, Mississippi. I had never been there before but everyone else had. It was okay for a club, but I was still expecting so much more. We showed up and 1 a.m. anyway so there wasn't much to it. I had a good time though.

Sunday was a pretty good relaxing day. I just watched Netflix movies and ate homemade pancakes because I was hungry and it was a very tasty good decision.

Today's rehearsal was okay....I say that because I didn't really do much. We ran Act 1, and Act 2 of the show. I don't come in until Act 2 and I say 10 lines and then I'm not scene again till Act 3. We ran the first to Acts of book and it was a weird feeling because during my one scene I wanted "more" but I felt like either I wasn't giving more or my partner wasn't giving me much to work with. It was a stumble through so I guess I shouldn't expect much. I'm want to give a good performance and make sure I'm getting my point and intentions across. It's a work in progress but I'm excited and thrilled.

Now I'm wrapping up my day on my bedroom floor watching HGTV...and thinking it's time to REALLY let go of the past and bad things that have happened in it. Everything has led me to who I am today, but now it's truly time to move forward and stop sweating the small stuff. It's time for me to EASE ON DOWN THE ROAD :)

Well g2g PEACE

p.s.
Life is the best school. God is the best teacher. Problem is the best assignment. Failure is the best revision.

If Music Be The Food of Love, Play On!

The past two days have been well...normal days.

I've fallen into a routine pattern. I do the same thing every morning, workout!!! haha I love it though. This weeks ending weight is 220lbs which is great !!! I have a football players body, because I played football all the way through High School and since I've been working out that form of body is beginning to come back, but this time with more definition and for the first time ever...CUTS!!! I'm really staying on top of it. I'm determined to be "cut" and defined but anything outrageous.

Twelfth Night rehearsal have been SO AWESOME thus far. Robert Davis a professor of theatre in acting and voice and speech at the Hartt School of Music and Dance has come in to help out with our production. He is a designated Linklater Voice Teacher with more than 20 years experience as a professional actor, director and voice coach. He's worked with regional theatres across the country including Shakespeare Company, the Yale Repertory Theatre, the Colorado Shakespeare Festival, the Shakespeare Festival at Tulane, The Monomoy Theatre and Swine Palace Productions. He's amazing. Yesterday was our first rehearsal with him and it was great. He told us that it's not about getting the words right, it's about making the words come alive. He made us aware of your bodies and how the words should come from our entire body. We did some neat Linklater vocal warm-ups that I hadn't tried before, and I liked these a lot. They were great for me and I'll be using these techniques more often.

Today's rehearsal was more of the same thing except we took 5 lines from one of our monologues and wrote them out on paper and then cut out every word and placed the word on our chest and with each word with had to say it in many variations and till it resounded in out entire bodies, then we walked around the space and said out lines and froze, then one at a time he would point at us and we would repeat out lines in front of the whole company and they would watch you as you did it. My line was "His life I gave him and thereto add my love, without retention or restraint, all his in dedication; for his sake did I expose myself, pure for his love." In between part of my speech I froze and my emotions literally SMACKED THE SHIT OUT OF ME. It hit me that Antonio really does love Sebastian. He exposed his love for him in front of everyone and that's bravery. Antonio is the outsider in this troupe of players and he is dealing with a sense of awareness and something taboo that's really not addressed the rest of the play...and that's DEEEEEEP. I almost shed a tear.

I'm really getting a keen sense of my character and I haven't had a process like this since Macbeth...and I've been wanting a character that I would have to find a bit of myself in, and still have a lot to explore. I've been given a challenge and I love it.

So far this half of the internship has been cool and I'm not sweating the small or insignificant stuff around here. Leave the bullshit for others. I'm focusing on bettering myself as a person and as a actor. This is Actor Boot Camp...plus I got a pocket full of dreams and I'm going to fulfill them.

Well g2g PEACE

P.S.
Today was a Two Sister's kind of day....I'm still full ;)

This Kool-Aid is TOO Damn Sweet!

Getting ready to wrap up another day in Jackson, Mississippi. Today was sort of a drag for some reason. I went to the gym and that was exciting. That was really the highlight of my day.

Today was my teaching day So I had my High School Kids during the day and After School program after. I don't feel like going into detail about either today really. All I had on my brain today was SLEEPING.

I finally finished watching all over CLAYMORE. Okay, so I'm not really into Anime and you won't hear about me ever going to an Anime Convention of any sort, but I was bored one night and I was just surfing for something to watch on my NetFlix Instant Watch...we all know how hard it is to find something good to watch NetFlix unless you have both the Instant Watch and DVD option, which I have. Anyway CLAYMORE came up as one of my "Something You'll Like" and I thought I would give it a try. I started watching it and I was hooked after the first three Episodes. It's really hard to describe the series so here's the Wikipedia plot:

"In a world where humans coexist with sentient monsters called Yoma (妖魔?) that feed on human innards, an organization has created an order of half-human, half-yoma warriors to protect humans from the yoma, for a large fee. The people of this world have dubbed these warriors "Claymores" based on their swords. They are also referred to as "Silver Eyed Witches", based on their appearance and seemingly cold nature toward others. Each Claymore has a rank number which is based on their strength and ability. There are 47 ranks corresponding to the number of regions of the land/world.

A Claymore known as Clare saves a small town by killing a Yoma living there, and meets Raki (Rocky), a boy whose parents were killed by the Yoma. Out of gratitude, Raki ends up following Clare from town to town during her Yoma-killing jobs. The two travel together until they are separated when Clare is forced to battle a sadistic Claymore named Ophelia. Before parting, Clare promises to find him if she survives. The story becomes a tale of revenge, as Clare seeks to confront someone from her past.

So that's pretty much the plot, but it's much more detailed than that. These girls are BAD BITCHES that can fight and Raki is little whiny bitch, but the Women in this show are E.P.I.C. I haven't been this hooked on a Anime series since INYUYASHA..LOL

I just finished watching HOT in Cleveland and Retired at 35..too flickin' funny!!!

No rehearsal for "Twelfth Night" tonight, but I have the first two scenes that I have memorized so that's a plus! Sometimes I forget how much I really love theatre. This internship sometimes sucks the love away and sometimes it makes you really love it. I'm still trying to figure out my next move after this is done. I'd really like to do some work that I want to do. I kinda have a small voice here and I really want to engage in some work that I'm really interested in, and here in Mississippi there's no "real" outlet for the kind of theatre I'd REALLY like to do. I miss abstract theatre and some forms of Avant Garde theatre. It seems like since I've left school I'm running into groups of people that want to do the run of the mill, too keep and audience..but I'm young and I want MORE, so after my internship is up I'm going to go looking for MORE or I'm going to go make MORE!

Well g2g PEACE

P.S. Check out this new musical "White Noise" it's opening in Chicago this year and Whoopi is backing it.

Who Stepped In The Dog Shit?

Today was a pretty eventful day...I guess :)

I slept in a bit because I didn't have to be at work till after 1pm. I went to the gym and put in 2 great hours. I ran for an hour because I want to keep a good balance since I missed working out Monday. I also stepped on the scale...I know, I know I said that I wasn't going to step on the scale until Saturday, but I did anyway and what a sigh of relief to know that I didn't gain anything. I didn't lose either, but that's expected seeing that I didn't workout for two days. I'm so determined to be the fittest and healthiest that I've ever been and I'm going to DO IT !!!! This is my second week of no pork or alcohol and it's going pretty well. I was craving Pork Rinds the other day and it was hard but I got Chex Mix instead and it was a much better choice. I'm eating lots of Turkey, and Chicken. I'm not the biggest fan of Turkey sandwiches but I'm sure it will grow on me.

Today we had another Work Call and all I did was paint some boarders. I really enjoy painting out of all the things that I've done in the shop so far. It's just so relaxing and I can put on my headphones and get lost in my music. Today I listened to the complete cast recordings of "Spring Awakening" and "In The Heights". I'm so sad that I didn't get the chance to see "In The Height's" live. I hope I can catch the tour somewhere before it closes. After working in the shop for a bit, I headed over to JA to help Sam build some pieces of the set for Twelfth Night. Me and a Jigsaw= me being aggravated because I want to make the perfect curve with the jigsaw.

After a little manual labor it was back to Day 2 of "Twelfth Night" rehearsal. Today I met the guy who will be playing Sebastian in the show. Hopefully we will be a great team. Our director wants to play the Antonio loves Sebastian part and I'm totally cool with that. It's so weird that in this comedy that there really is this other story that is taking place with Sebastian and Antonio and nobody really notices. I personally feel that Sebastian and Antonio did have something going on, but Sebastian is too nice to say that he regrets it. In rehearsals I have to be really careful and mindful of my diction. It's going really well though and I'm excited about it all. I think this is going to be a great production. Another Shakespeare show under my belt...and to think, I use to be scared of this stuff. Hm?

Now I'm laying on my bedroom floor wrapping up my day with this blog and the faint smell of dog shit it lingering in the air. Why? Well my Deejay, my roommate stepped in some outside of our house and we both turned into teenage girls and freaked out over it. We tried to clean up the doggy poo poo, but alas there is a brown stain on our already dingy hallway carpet. :( Haha well I'm going to watch some HGTV and a episode of Claymore and call it a night...yeah I'm lame like that! What?

Well g2g PEACE

P.S.

I Was Adored Once Too

Went on a little blog hiatus because I went on vacation. This weekend was great, and much needed. I had a great time with my Stephen and I so glad/ overjoyed to see him. I'm also glad I got to see some of my besties Matt, Zach, and Jordan. It's really nice to know that I have a whole other life outside of here in Jackson, Mississippi. I can't wait to go to Motown weekend after next to go to the Purple Pajama Party !!!!

I took a an extra day off from working out, but tomorrow I get right back to it, and I'm pretty stoked about it. I'm afraid to see what the scale is going to read though, because we ate at a Chinese Buffet aka MY POISON, but that was the only thing I had eaten that entire day so I might be fine. Whatever the fate I'm prepared to work hard this week and get back on track.

Today we started rehearsals for Twelfth Night and I'm excited, but I have a lot of work ahead of me. Today we did a read through of the script and the cast is going to be great. The neat thing about this production is that we aren't performing this show on the Main Stage at NEW STAGE. We are opening this show at the 800 seat state of the arts JA Performing Arts Center and it's a really wonderful space. I took a picture of it today, but it came out kind of blurry. I'll post better one later.
As we were doing the reading all I kept thinking about was "How am I going to portray Antonio?" A lot of the cast members at the reading were already vocalizing how there character would speak, but I was trying to figure out how my character was existing in there world. I feel like Antonio is really on the outside of the whole play and when he verbally reveals his love for Sebastian everyone just kind of avoids the whole situation by changing the situation or the conversation. I think I'm going to play on it for a minute and see if that works. I'm really excited because this isn't a role that I was expecting to get and it's going to force me to work hard in the role. I've been begging for a challenge since I've been here..and this might be it. I wasn't type cast in this role..which..yeah I'm getting tired of, but I'm just getting started so I'm taking what I can get. But I'm grateful for this opportunity and I'm going to actually be working with Francine Thomas as my director for this show and that's exciting too!

Well g2g PEACE

P.S. I miss Birmingham

I'm Rolling In The Deep

A cold, and cloudy day here in Jackson. Today was another laid back day. This morning I went to the gym and just did Cardio. I'm not excited about tomorrow because tomorrow I do Cardio and Weights. Saturday's are my hardcore days just right before I take Sunday off. I ran it bit over my time today in the gym so I was two minuted late for work.

Today was just another day in the shop. As I said before things in the shop are going really slow because we are pretty much at a stopping point with The 39 Steps. So they really just had me do busy work so I wouldn't get bored. Today I worked on Props with Ruthie and we made Grilled Herring and bullets. The perfect combination right? lol

Lunch today was a surprise. Brent, Sam, Drew, and I went to Lumpkin's for lunch. It was 10x's better then Two Sister's and the price was a lot cheaper. The baked chicken there was so good and I can't tell you how good the Mac & Cheese is or was. It was really a great time and the people there were so nice and friendly. After eating there I didn't want to go back to work because I was so full. I'll definitely be back to eat there again!

There really wasn't much else going on at work today. I will say I miss acting right now. I've spent to much time in the shop and auditioning that I miss telling a story to an audience. I can't wait to start rehearsals for Twelfth Night next week. I'm working to get off book as soon as possible so I can have ample time explore other aspects of my character Antonio.

RANDOM: I'm really craving a Sprite Zero right now! :)

Recently I've been listening to Adele a lot lately. I love her song "Rolling In The Deep." and I'm addicted to it. My Roommate is addicted to Brittany Spears new song and he has played 60 times. Are taste are a little different but that's okay.lol. Anyway I've watched every performance on youtube.com that I could find of Adele performing. I'm in love with her soul, and voice and I don't even know that woman like that. I'm patiently waiting for her new album 21, but I'm really anxious for it come out already. I heard her other new song "Someone Like You" and it's just as beautiful. I love songs that tell a story and I feel like right now with music going in a different direction I often what's going to happen to the artist that tell a story in there song. I want to be MOVED by the lyrics and content and they only people that are doing that for me now are Amos Lee, Mumford & Sons, Adele, and Sufjan Stevens.

Today I wondered what would happen if I became a recording artist. Funny thought right?

Well g2g PEACE

P.S.

Thursday=Cheat Day !!!

So today has been an interesting and nice day. Today I didn't have to be at work till 1 p.m. and that was so nice. I went to the gym at my usual time and got a lot of weight lifting in today. It was a challenge on the dumb bells because today I moved up to 60 lbs per bell and I did 4 sets of 15. I also moved up my chest press to 205lbs and that was no easy feet for me either. They guys in the gym today really gave me great encouragement today and it was really nice of them. So that was an excellent way to start the day.

Afterward I decided it was time get my hair cut. I hadn't done anything to it since late November. Since that time I've been rocking a beard. Stephen should me a picture of Flo Rida's beard and he asked if I could get like his and of course I said "Sure!" I've found a really cool hair spot in Jackson called Razor Sharp and the folks there are certified specialist when it comes to getting a good cut. Since I'm getting older I've decided to steer away from the kiddie cuts and try to find an Older/Younger look. I kept the beard but got it faded down. The Barber's there were really nice and shout out to Louis Davis for giving me such and excellent cut.

Since it's Cheat Thursday I got to splurge on some good food. Today LaShunda and I went to TWO SISTER'S which is awesome Jackson native restaurant the caters in good southern cooked food. I had the Baked Chicken, Yams, Cabbage, and Cornbread and y'all it was so finger licking good. It's located in Downtown Jackson and it's nestled in nice Victorian Style house. The atmosphere is always pleasant and I look forward to going back again.

After lunch it's time to head back to New Stage for 4 hours of Work Call...lately Work Call's been a little less exciting because now the sets up and we have to wait for the Set Designer to come in and paint the rest of the set. I'm still learning the ropes and today I cut a pipe and cut new grooves in it. It's a very interesting technique and messy too. OIL EVERYWHERE !!! LOL. During all of Work Call I was thinking about my audition for A Soldier's Play. I honestly don't know who I want to be in the show, or who I would be good for so I studied as much as I could gather about each character last night and I just ran with it. I read for every black male in the play and I was seen with a lot of different groups. I won't know anything till Feb 21st so it's really one of those "Audition & Forget About It" issues. I'll probably forget anyway because I have "Twelfth Night" and "Miss Nelson is Missing the Musical" on my plate right now. Not to mention the touring shows....bled :) boo TOURS :)

Well I'm keeping my attitude positive and not letting myself be caught up in life unnecessary shit. I'm focusing on making myself a better person physically, and mentally.

Well g2g PEACE

P.S. FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE...you gotta love these three

Give Yourself A High Five :)

So today was a nice chilly day. I killed myself in the gym this morning. My thighs hurt and so does the rest of my lower body, but "No Pain, No Gain" right? Today was my cardio day so you know I was putting in work.I wanted to give myself a High Five for my effort when I left the gym cause I felt so good. So I've started showering at the gym to give me more time in the gym and not feel so rushed when I get back to my house. My roomie Deejay usually wakes up around the time I get back from the gym and I'm filthy, hot, and stinky mess when I comeback and I have to rush and shower before I work. So i figured it would be better to utilize the shower gym and it's been a plus. Today was kinda funny because I forgot my underwear so I had t free ball in my jeans and it was invigorating but at the same time very uncomfortable. I'm very well equipped down there and that whole no wearing underwear thing for me is not good when it comes to wearing jeans. I can usually do it with my athletic shorts because they are loose, but I wear my jeans kinda tight..you know what I mean. Anyway I won't be free balling in tight jeans again needless to day. I got back to my house and put drawers on quickly.

After the gym shenanigans I had to head over to Jackson Academy and teach 7th grade and High School Drama. Today they all learned about Improvisations. The 7th Graders loved it. They are so fun to work with. There are only two boys in that class..I wish there were more because maybe they would interact more. I'm sure they'll eventually come around though. The 12th Graders were another case. You have to get them quiet and etc. before you can even begin to really work with them, but when they listen they do well.

After JA we headed over to Broadview Methodist to work on the Chastain, and Boyd kids presentation for tonight. It went really well except for the part where we had to show the parents the games we've been playing...I'm just going to say ..nothing. LOL

Right now I'm just chilling in my room and working on two scripts at one time. Look at me multitasking. I'm playing Antonio in New Stage's Production of TWELFTH NIGHT. Right now I'm exploring the homosexual tendencies of Antonio towards Sebastian. We'll see what happens. Tomorrow I have auditions for A SOLDIER'S PLAY and I don't know what role I really want to go for. I'm just going to go into the audition and give 100% for each reading..since I'll be doing all five :)

Well g2g PEACE

P.S.
Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie
Which we ascribe to heaven.
~William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well

I Crave Meat

Today has sorta kinda been an eventful day. I started my day off by going to the gym and I know that I'm supposed to step on the scale until next Monday but I just couldn't resist and I was happy to see the progress that I saw. I bumped up the level on the elliptical that I run on and DAMN do my legs hurt but it was worth it.

Today at work was pretty basic. We met with Francine to discuss what we were going to be teach the students tomorrow in class at Jackson Academy. I just hope they like what the group has chosen. Working with High School kids is a task and working in a private school is another. I'll guess we'll see the outcome in the morning. After are planning we did a line through of The Sword in The Stone, and Romeo and Juliet...all I'm going to say is "Take The Wheel."

So far this week I've been waiting till dinner to eat meat and it's been a test that's killing me, but the thrill of eating meat once I get it is kinda beastly. Today for dinner I had two chicken breast you could have sworn that I had turned into a Lion the way I tore into that meat. I had to eat in my bedroom it was that insane. I'm going to be keeping this up for awhile because I like it. I can't wait till Thursday...that's my cheat day and we're going to Two Sisters, which is this southern food haunt that is sooo good. I just have to make sure that I don't go to crazy in there.

Today in the shop we really didn't do much. I touched up some of the painting I had done last week and helped Richard brace the ladders on a track, but that was really about it.

I had my ipod on shuffle today and Amos Lee, Mumford and Sons, Norah Jones, Nina Simone, and Sufjan Stevens came on it was amazing. If only Adele had played at that point. That should give you a taste of the type of music I'm actually into. I love pop music don't get me wrong, but the real music to me is coming from these artist right here.

Well g2g PEACE

P.S. Yep..that's LL Cool J as today's pic :) I idolize him and I'm using his workout book to get fit.

Why Do The Shoes In Front of Me Stink?

I'm not counting this as Tuesday's blog because I actually started writing this TONIGHT (Monday).

So I'm basically wrapping up my weekend. Sunday we were supposed to go see a film version of Romeo and Juliet but due to the ice Francine called it off. Which was fine with me, even though I kinda really wanted to see it :) So you know what I really wanted to do..I wanted to go workout at the gym, but I fought the urge because I know I need to add a day of rest and so I didn't but, DAMN, I really wanted to and it was so hard to fight that urge. So I poured all my energy back into the play that I've been working on for two years now....I keep having to walk away from the script and coming back to it. Yesterday I must have been on fire because I can tell you now that I'm very much near then end of the script. I even got an intermission put in there, which was a breath of fresh air for me. More characters have been added to the plot to give other character more people to interact with and the poetry of the play is finally coming together. I'm proud of what I've got so far. This play really is a labor of love for me. I really would love to see a full production of it someday.

Sunday really was a dreary day. I didn't listen to any pop music..which was odd. Instead I listened to Mumford and Sons, Natalie Weiss, and the music of Scott Alan, and Nina Simone. Later that night Deejay and I went to Taco Bell and my car was covered in ice and we still went anyway. I actually ordered of of the healthy menu at TB and trust me it was a challenge..but it was worth it. Cutting back on consumption is my real challenge as I've said before.

We had "Miss Nelson is Missing The Musical" auditions today and they were so fun. Sam Sparks the director from Dallas Children's Theatre is directing the show and for our dance portion of the audition we had to do the "Cupid Shuffle". You know I was right in front ready to go. We won't find out whose cast till the end of the week, but I don't mind who I get cast as. Later this week I have auditions for "A Soldier's Play" and that one will be interesting to see how Francine casts that show. OF COURSE I WANT TO BE IN THAT SHOW !!!!

I'm looking forward to the work week though, and I'm starting to see some small body changes ;)

Well g2g PEACE

ps. My shoes stink....again.

The Perfect Patron Margarita

How many shots of Patron is in this Jumbo Margarita? 4 shots!!! Tonight I just took my last drink for awhile and it feels....scary. I think I might have drunk it to fast, but I enjoyed every gulp.

Today has been a very relaxing day. I slept until 9a.m. and basically relaxed. I went to help Deejay with his auditions for "How I Learned to Drive" and then I went to workout for 2 hours. I love when I get that much time to workout, makes me feel like I'm getting a worthy workout then my usual week day workouts. This year I plan to stay healthy and the fit.

I've lost 2 lbs this week so that's a good accomplishment. This coming up week I have to get strict with my diet..now that's going to be the real challenge right there. I know I can do it though. I plan on doing a 360 on who I am this year I'm only tweeting positive, or funny stuff, and I'm going to treat my body right. Hopefully my happy endorphins will kick in again soon.

Tonight I went to see UNSHELVED a play by Beth Kander and the script was great and so was the premises of the story. The cast was really good and I hope to someday see a full production of the show.

Well I don't have that much to talk about tonight...plus I'm tipsy :)

Well g2g PEACE

I Realize That I Am A Nerd....but I love it :)

I skipped yesterdays blog because I was to tired to post anything..but I'll do better.

Yesterday was actually a learning experience, I guess I should say everyday at New Stage is a learning experience. This entire week I've been working in the shop and it's been so great. Working with Brent, Ruthie and Richard has been full of laughs, learning, and not being afraid to get dirty. Working in the shop feels like I'm making up for all the times I didn't do my applied hours with Kel while in college, but at the same time it's like I'm starting all over again. What I like about working in the shop is the fact that Brent, a former college professor actually teaches me and tests me on things in the shop. Everyday we go over each saw and what it's function is. We go over the tools and what they do and we do math. Brent is the perfect teacher. He is patient, and he wants you to be do great even if you may not get a measurement perfect each and every time. There have been sometimes in the shop where I get frustrated because I feel like I'm not doing something right, but Brent, Ruthie, and Richard always help me out. It should also be noted that I'm not the best person you want in the shop.

Whenever I accomplish something, like I put the portals up, and the painted them. I said "Look what you've done" and Brent said "No, look what you've done!" that really made me feel good and let me know I'm conquering my fear of the shop.

Today working in the shop was AWESOME me and Brent talked about every musical under the sun but one of my favorites in particular...THE WIZ, we even talked about why it should be done by an All-Black Cast. It's really great to know that I finally have someone here that I can talk to musicals about. I'm really a nerd when it comes to musicals because I love them so much. People don't assume that I know so much about musicals when they first meet me, but once somebody mentions a musical I'm ready to talk. Unfortunately New Stage doesn't do many musicals or musicals that I think they should do..but that's def. not my place :) But I'm glad I have Brent there to talk to about musicals...I mean my degree is a B.F.A. in Musical Theatre...it's what I KNOW:)

Zach and Caleb went back to Montevallo today and I died a little bit inside because they had Montevallo written all over them and having them hear was like have a little piece of home. I'm really glad they came, but I can't wait to go back and visit them soon. This is the perk of living in the state right next to home. I'm grateful for that.

Speaking of Motown, today we went to take a picture at The JPS Board of Education with the Superintendent and when we took our picture and we were getting ready to leave and he asked us where we were from and I said "Birmingham" and he said "I graduated from Montevallo" and I said "I did too" and it popped off from there. I started sweating...I was so embarrassed about that. I sweat in front of greatness. He was the first Black student admitted to the Montevallo on a full-sports scholarship, and he was just made a Board Member at UM. That was AWESOME...felt like home. He should me pictures of him and everything.

Well I'm learning and growing!!!

Well g2g PEACE

“Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can - there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.”-Sarah Caldwell

Empty Bottles In My Head

Chug it down like it's a drug...

Today has been a very chill day. My head is swimming with so much information that I'm really not sure how I'm retaining it all. So at the beginning of the internship I had a feeling that I was going to be the one that ended up in the shop after we did our rotation of being in the shop, costumes, and office duties. Well sure enough I'm the one working in the shop. Yesterday was a pretty breezy day as far as working in the shop went. We got a lot accomplished and we were all tired after it. Today I woke up and went to the gym and I was gearing myself for another day in the shop, little did I know that I would have to rack my brain to find what remnants of geometry that I could remember. I thought I was going to be getting away from math once I left college...I guess not :( Brent who is pretty much over the entire operation of putting The 39 Steps together through so many measurements at me today that it was almost overbearing for my brain. I got through it though in one piece.

Today was also our first day back at the Afterschool Program....I have no comment about how better organized it should be, but the kids today were really great. Today we sat in a circle and we began with the origins of theatre and where it is now. I honestly feel that this is what these kids need. They need ALL of the basics, not just doing monologues and playing games. You would never believe how many questions they had about Medea, or Greek theatre.

The rest of the afternoon has been nice. It's great having Zach and Caleb here it's like a buffer between the reality that I'm not in Motown. It's like they brought a piece of Motown with them and I love that so much.

Well that's pretty much how my day went. In other news..I'm cutting Pork out of my life (GASP!!!)it's time to let the swine and all of it's goodness go. I'm only going to rely on Beef and poultry. Changing my lifestyle it the first step in my living a better life. Today at the gym I was running and this lady stopped me and said "You've been running non-stop for 45mins, WOW, keep it up. You keep me motivated"...besides the fact that I get annoyed when people talk to me in the gym, it was really nice to know that through my own motivation I was motivating someone else.

I want a better life, and I want to come into my own this year! My eye is on the prize and I want more out of life and I know I'm the only one that can make that happen.

Well g2g PEACE

“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”
-Mark Victor Hansen quotes

So I Didn't Really Say Goodbye 2010

I don't even really know where to begin...

It's 2011 !!!!! I'm happy so see another year and I wonder what's in store for me.
Last year I went through this whole what's going to change type deal and I achieved many things and I learned a lot of things about life. I graduated from college and immediately started working in a field that I love. It's crazy to know that so much happened to me in 2010.

This year my main goal is to get my body in the best shape that it has every been in. last year I changed my entire appearance and I plan on taking it to the next level. I know it sounds crazy, but things have already started to run its course.

I'm back in Mississippi for round 2 of my internship at New Stage Theatre and right we really aren't doing much but work call and there isn't much excitement in that. Twelfth Night STILL hasn't been fully cast yet, and it makes me wonder why some people already know who they're playing and why the interns don't know who they are playing...for me it's "whatever" at this point. I'm going to go with the flow and really stay focused on myself for this half of the internship.

Well g2g PEACE