Although I have a lot going on it feels like I have a lot of time for some strange reason.
As it is that this year I'm putting myself back together and figuring myself out once again. I was overdue for a heart to heart with my bestfriend Melvin, he lives in Hawaii, but his word and his knowledge about me is fact and he can break it down for me without hurting my feeling, but keeping it real at the same time. Yesterday I just pretty much unleashed everything I've been going through on him and how I feel about it and what I'm learning from it. Although he was understanding he didn't shy away from just stating the straight up facts and what he told me I should do when I got here to NYC. Some of what he said is I've mentioned before in previous blogs but I needed to hear it from someone else. I just needed to focus on my career and not being with anyone right now. When I'm with someone I give my all, but not enough to my craft and my talents, but when I'm not single I devote all of my much needed energy to my career, but at the same time I don't want to feel alone in life. As I've stated before I'm not one for hook-ups or needing to have my sexual desires fulfilled by a "regular" or "random"..I've got my hands for that, but I want to be able to share my life with someone and I've faced the fact that I'm not going to be able to do that until I'm established and knowing that sucks, but it should also motivate me at the same time. It feels like Middle, High, and College all over again where I have to watch from the sidelines and see other people enjoy other peoples company while I just enjoy my career. In the meanwhile I've got to find a date to the movie premier next weekend...ugh
It's not as if I can't go out on dates, and I've turned down one already that Jordan, and Yanni tried to set me up with. It's just yet again..I KNOW what I NEED to be doing.
I've got the Spartan Race coming up and it's a HUGE deal for me for personal reasons and I plan on finishing it too!
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