Believing In Yourself Is An Endless Destination...

What's good blog world!?!?! So it's back to the daily grind of the week and back to work I go! I'm going to free write for this entry...so bare with me. The past couple of days at "The DAY Job" as I'd like to call it are starting to get boring...I was going to use a big word like "monotonous" but I didn't! The constant "flowing" at work and dealing with customers that come from everywhere is getting a little tiring, but the money I'm making is really what's keeping me there. I have a very abstract mind and when work begins to bore me I go into the back of my mind and I get creative. I think of things to write, things I need to do after work, or I think of creative ways to have sex..yes, I'm an adult and my mind goes there. Lately at work my creative juices have been getting in the way of work and I think that's a sign that I have a play working in my head and so I've begun to start writing again. I've had this character in my head for awhile and he has been invading my dreams a lot lately. I have a very weird technique now when I write..I have to let the characters come to me and explain what's going on with them and then I write them down in my bound journal and then I go from there. I'm starting to see how my writing has progressed since the 4 plays that I've written and I think that's because I'm growing as an individual and I'm maturing in my writing too. I'm running on exactly 3hrs of sleep in the past two days and for some reason I don't feel tired at all. I feel like my weekday nights are spent in the underbelly of NYC subway system and often times it feels like that. Waiting for the "E" train to arrive at the wee hours of the morning and walking the mile home from the station after being burped out of the "E" trains stench laden stomach craving for the comforts of my apartment although changes are abound in my apt at the moment...I often think of P's face and these things don't really seem to matter. Living here really has brought on a self awareness in me that everyday I'm learning from. I know that I have no business looking back into my past and being angry at past situations is so crazy. I can only learn from it, but to lean on it like a crutch is crazy. Things really are starting to feel RIGHT here...it's a good feeling. P, puts a smile on my face and gazing at him and seeing him gaze at me is something else! This past weekend with P was really really good. For not being from the south he's got a southern gentleman thing going on himself too! He's great, he's mind blowing, he's more different than anything I've come across in awhile. In the past I've been known to fall head over heels for people and this time I'm being patient with myself, and not rushing anything...but this might be different. I won't count my chickens before they hatch though. Yep, Yep, Yep...I'm going to keep being me and keep being the southern gentleman that I am. Well g2g PEACE P.S. Yep, YEP, YEP!